


Want

by CallaFallon



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: 6x04, Character Motivations, Episode Fix-it, Episode Tag, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-20
Updated: 2016-10-20
Packaged: 2018-08-23 16:25:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8334364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CallaFallon/pseuds/CallaFallon
Summary: Post-Strange Case. Rumple thinks over his fight with Belle and in the process realizes what he wants from his marriage. (Character study trying to explain Rumple's actions and show a path to how he and Belle can work things out)





	

Rumplestiltskin wasn’t angry.

 

When he popped back to his home after confronting Belle he felt invigorated. They had fought, yes, but that was what they needed to do. For most of their relationship she had asked him to do impossible things and he had agreed, only to do what he wanted when she wasn’t around. It was no way to create a marriage. He was upset that she kept issuing demands (don’t kill Regina, don’t kill Zelena, don’t murder anyone really) but he feared upsetting her. He lied because he wanted to make her happy. And that had been his mistake. Fighting was what they should have been doing all along. 

 

The rush of being so close to Belle, of actually sharing the truth of his thoughts with her, overwhelmed every other emotion. The depth of what had happened would sink in later and he would have to deal with it then. Or the nearest piece of crockery would. He had lost control of his dagger. He’d been forced to watch Belle almost killed. He had cut his bloody hair only to have Regina notice TWICE before his wife. 

 

He had wanted a fresh start. He felt like a new man ever since he had accepted that the darkness was part of him. He was no longer the optimistic peasant who had signed up for battle. He wasn’t the coward who had come home. He wasn’t the dark imp who had let love slip away out of fear of weakness. He wasn’t the would-be hero who had sacrificed himself for those he loved. He wasn’t the creature brought back from death with the cost of his son. He wasn’t the puppet to be controlled. 

 

Rumplestiltskin had now felt what it was like to be powerless again. He’d discovered that he was brave enough to stand up to a bear and to pull Excalibur from the stone, but bravery itself was nothing without the power to use it. He could be a better man with the power. He already was. The old Rumplestiltskin wouldn’t have allowed Belle the opportunity to be away from him. The protection spell had been a mistake, in strategy if nothing else, but she needed to understand that her safety was his primary concern. The old Rumpelstiltskin would have locked her away in the house even if there was no clear external threat, as he had done with Bae so long ago. He learned his lesson there. He would only do what was needed to keep her safe from immediate harm. And that harm would appear eventually. 

 

He had been cocky on the dock when they had argued. He didn’t want her to love him only out of necessity. Of course he wanted more than that. However, necessity was the most important. Love, he had learned, was a fickle thing. Cora had claimed to love him; as had Milah and even Belle. In the end it didn’t mean much. If love allowed you to banish your husband than love was worthless. Necessity...well that was better. Belle could grow to love him again. Once she was safe with him he would take the time to show her how loving he could be. 

 

Eventually.

 

He wouldn’t lie to himself. If Belle came back to him he would accept her immediately. He’d drop to his knees and thank her. He would forgive every single barb she had thrown in his direction as long as she was safe. As long as they both were safe. Still, there was a part of him (a part not necessarily touched by his curse) that wanted to see her desperate for his help. To see his fierce little wife looking up at him with those big blue eyes and realizing that he was the only hope. Not a hero on a white horse but her cunning and ruthless beast. 

 

He allowed himself to indulge in the fantasy as he stalked through the pink Victorian. He ended up in the Master Bedroom and collapsed on the bed. This was the room where they made love. Where they conceived their son. That night she had been ravenous for him. This is where she should be, and not alone on some pirate ship.  _ The ship that Milah has spent so many nights on _ , a critical voice reminded him. 

 

He imagined Belle standing here, before him, looking just as she had on the docks. She normally favored classic styles that accented her silhouette, but as of late she had been wearing more bohemian dresses. They reminded him vaguely of the types of the simple dresses and tunics that had been favored by the girls of the village, although the material was much more gauzy and colorful than those had ever been. His fantasy Belle’s dress was a little shorter than it had been in real life, and a scoop neckline that allowed him to see a hint of her cleavage.  She wasn’t the petite ball of fury who had confronted him, but the frightened Princess putting on a brave face as Ogre’s ravaged her countryside. 

 

_ “Rumple,” she said, her voice trembling, “I need your help. We need your help.” _

 

_ “We,” he said lazily, “You and the Charmings I suppose?” _

 

_ “No. Our family. Our child. The Blue Fairy says that the child of the Dark One is an abomination that must be destroyed. _ ” 

 

_ He walked behind her, reaching his arms out around her abdomen to rest where their child was growing. “And you have come to me to save you both? Can’t your heroes handle this one?” _

 

_ Belle turned in his arms, nuzzling her head against his neck. “They say that she is probably right. They don’t care about me except for how I can help them.” _

 

_ His long fingers gripped her chin, forcing her to look into his eyes. “And you think that I should care? I thought you didn’t need my protection. Or was it just the the price was too high?” _

 

_ “Rumple, please, I will do anything. Just please, protect us.” _

 

_ He kissed her, roughly and without any of the love that their embraces normally shared. This was about domination, and he was surprised to feel her hands behind his neck. She had always loved to pet his hair when they kissed and with is shorter he could feel her fingers more intently.  _

_ When they parted he smiled cruelly. “Anything? You know how much I love a deal with such an open term. I wonder if you really mean it?” _

 

_ “I will do anything, Rumple. Just ask.” _

 

What did he want? He opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling. His cock was half-hard from the fantasy, but it wasn’t enough. It would do his ego good to be able to hear her say that they needed him. And the promise of  _ anything _ was enticing to the dealmaker in him. But the truth was that he didn’t want to make a deal with her. 

 

He ruminated on the situation while taking off the layers of his suit. Belle was already giving him the thing he wanted most, a child. Not to replace Bae, because nothing could do that. Even when he had dealt with Cora for a child it had not been as a way to fill the gap his son left behind. He just wanted to do things right this time. To show that he wasn’t like his own father. Malcolm had abandoned him, and so maybe Rumple was too quick to swing towards smothering. It was only natural considering the number of enemies he had. 

 

In the bathroom, he stepped into the shower and let his mind go back to the fantasy. Only different this time. Belle wasn’t scared and desperate, but angry. She was the furious Mama Bear who he’d seen in the Underworld and who had vented her spleen at the docks. 

 

_ Rumplestiltskin eyed her like a piece of meat. “And what exactly can you offer me for my protection? Your first born child is already mine. You’ve already promised me forever. What can you offer me that I don’t already have.” _

 

_ He was standing flush against her, his front to her back. He let his hands flutter near her arms, her waist, but never actually touching. She turned in his arms, pushing him back.  _

 

_ “There is no deal to be made.” _

 

_ He chuckled. “When two people have something the other desires a deal can always be made. And I’m sure you can come up with something that I desire.” He allowed himself to stare at her chest and lick his lips.  _

 

_ “There will be no deal,” Belle said with narrowed eyes, “because we have already made one. I am your wife. You will protect me and our child because of that.” _

 

Yes. That was it. That was what he wanted. In the warm water of the shower he suddenly trembled with the power of the realization. He didn’t want Belle afraid and dealmaking with him. He wanted her as she should be, his wife and partner. 

 

_ Rumple grabbed her hips and pulled her against him. “Yes. I will protect you. My wife. Mother of my child. I will tear apart anyone who threatens our family.” _

_ “Yes,” she said, petting his shortened hair. “And if I want you to have mercy?” _

 

_ He growled, pulling away from her. “You control my heart, not my dagger. I will consider your request, but my mind is my own.” _

 

_ “But you will consult with me? Tell me the thoughts of your mind?” _

 

_ He leaned in close and nibbled her earlobe. With a whisper he said, “my thought run dark. I worry that I will taint you with them.” _

 

_ Belle played with his tie, using it to pull him even closer. “I fell in love with all of you. Even the darkness. I’ve never feared your darkness, only that you hold it closer than you hold me.” _

 

_ And then she kissed him, a soft sweet kiss that chased away his doubts and fears.  _

 

Rumplestiltskin turned off the shower. He hadn’t gotten the release that he had been expecting when he started this little fantasy. Then again, maybe this was better. Actual insight into what he wanted, and maybe what Belle needed. 

 

Hadn’t she told him, in so many little ways, how her fear was that he didn’t need her. After she had run into the Snow Queen’s Mirror she had told him the terrible taunts of her reflection. That he was only with her because he could manipulate her, and that he didn’t truly see her as an equal. He had scoffed at the time, and reassured her with lovemaking. Except he had also been plotting how to kill magical creatures and flee the town, all without telling her, so maybe her fears were not groundless. 

 

Rumplestiltskin needed to apologize. To let her know that he hadn’t meant his words about necessity being what would bind them together. That was his fear talking. Stupid old doubts that he couldn’t be enough for her without her needing something from him in return. They wanted the same thing: a relationship built on trust and mutual acceptance. They could figure out how to get there.

 

As he toweled off he caught sight of himself in the mirror. Yes, he was still the same man as he had been before the haircut. He’d made that clear today when he had botched things up badly with Belle, but he’d also made a step in the right direction. He had been honest with her about his feelings, and even admitted the truth of his past with Dr. Jekyll.

 

Belle claimed that she had always been able to see him. He hoped that was true, because he was ready to be the man she always wanted; an equal partner. Not a twin repeating her thoughts, or a dictator who ignored her wishes but a loving husband. If only she could give him the chance to show her.


End file.
